June 2008
67 posts
Outdoorsiness
When you see a human silhouette in the branches of a tree at night, give that area a wide berth. It’s best to make for a clearing and light a fire.
If a face appears in the flames, douse with water. Soon afterwards, you can expect the sky to fill with owls, blocking all light from the moon and stars.
Remove any clothing made from animal skin, or containing the color yellow. If you must...
But wait! There's more! →
"Your child sucks and I want to kill it."
—Nine words a mother never wants to hear.
Praise it.
Today, in praise of the Scandos...
Tänään, kehua, Scandos.
The only sane answer to the question.
“Would you like a plum?”
“No!”
Nobody wants to eat plums. If there’s a silver lining to this whole death of biodiversity business, it’s that plums will be erased from the planet. Gone, and good riddance.
Why do they carry them in stores? A baffling waste. The grocer puts them out, watches them rot, then into the trash they go. Nobody wants to look at a...
You need this. It's charming. It's art. →
What seems to be the problem?
Head sores, pallor, baldness, deafness, lethargy, toothache, mouth cankers, bad breath, swollen breasts, shortwindedness, indigestion, flatulence, jaundice, dropsy, gout, bladder infection, kidney stones, fever, dog bite, and infestation with lice or maybe it’s fleas.
The Devil's beating his wife with a silver chain.
We’ll find out how hard, and how much, when we come back with Tawny Moreno and the weather.
Those of you with dogs need this. →
Although you really should consider trading up to a cat.
Oh, and hell, as long as we're talking about dogs.... →
But, really. Come on now.
"He moves like he's being yelled at by invisible... →
Innocence? Or innocence corrupted?
The choice is yours.
Watch
Did you choose correctly?
Life Sucks —Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson