November 2008
71 posts
Stranger in Paradise —Ray Conniff
Swinging with Mackerels
Huzzah! and Boom!
The rain of Terrible Whirling Beastie Christs comes on a Sunday afternoon at about two-ish, and it is a miracle to behold. The sky splits open in golden shining holy light and all clocks stop and people crain their necks to see dark specks growing larger as great choral harmonies and trumpets sound.
The Whirling Beasties fall fall and fall, faster and faster with amazing...
Naked
There’s a man at the mall in a shoe store and he’s naked except for the shoes he’s trying on and looking at in that shoe mirror. “Do these shoes make me look fat?” he says to the clerk, who’s kneeling there on the floor lacing up another pair.
A woman walks in and she’s naked except for a great big hat. “I bought a hat,” she says to the naked man. “It looks nice,” he says, and asks, “Do these...
Texas
Walk into a fire department and ask them, you just ask them, for a glass of water. They give you a glass of water and you drink it.
Now walk over to that travel agency on the corner there. Ask them if they sell cigarettes. “Do you sell cigarettes?” The woman behind the desk says to try the 7-Eleven up the street.
And now go into that discount furniture store over by the Whataburger. Ask the...
Samples
There’s a doctor’s office with four women seated on the couch reading magazines. The doctor comes out wearing a stethoscope and one of those mirror things on his head. He’s holding a clipboard.
Just then an orderly enters carrying a bucket filled with milky fluid. “Here’s the semen samples you wanted, doctor!” says the orderly. “Oh, good! I’ve been looking for those!” says the doctor.
Just...
Touch of Evil —Tom Russell
"You be good. I love you." →
WatchHoopeston (2007)
The nefarious side of the street. →
“Christopher Cerf has been composing songs for Sesame Street for twenty-five years… ‘The way we do Sesame Street,’ he explained, ‘is that we have educational researchers test whether the kids are learning. And one year they asked me to write a song to explain what a mountain is, and I wrote a silly song about what a mountain was…Anyway,’ he said,...
Tarsiers, Dutch elm disease, cargo cults, osmosis,...
That’s what it’s all about.
"Since you like Jonestown so much, maybe you'll... →
—Benjamin Fasching-Gray
This is decidedly necessary.
Fry up a pound of bacon, drain that bacon, set that bacon aside.
In a fresh skillet, melt a cuppa sugar with three tablespoons honey and two tablespoons water.
Cook medium-high till bubbling quits and “syrup is light amber.”
“Light amber!” So fancy, this bacon!
On low heat, turn them bacon strips in that goo with tongs.
Tongs are hilarious!
Allow that bacon to cool on...
Jingle Bells —Julian Koster
Asylum Report (Milwaukee): Hoppenroth
Jan. 17, 1880: Charles Hoppenroth, carpenter residing in the rear of 604 E. Water St., is in custody. His insanity had rendered him dangerous. He would kindle fires at night and cut other pranks while his family was asleep. He will be conveyed to an asylum.
Asylum Report (Milwaukee)
Feb. 27, 1880: Officers Frellson and Kloss, of the south side force, brought a raving maniac to jail last evening. The man, August Drav, a laboring man from Grove and Rogers Sts., had gradually grown insane since last monday. The officers and neighbors were obliged to tie his hands and feet and place him in a wagon, and, at the jail, six men bore him to a cell.
April 1, 1880: Alvin Arthur...
Asylum Report (Milwaukee): Hoppenroth,...
Jan. 21, 1880: Charles Hoppenroth has been in the county jail for several days for a mental examination, his wife having complained he was growing insane and deemed him irresponsible and dangerous. Drs. J.M. Stark and G.A. Stark, after examination, judged him sane. It seems he had been having domestic trouble.
Listen to this old Italian National Fascist Party...
Context doesn't matter. Context is unimportant.
